Anger and Aggression
Many parents send an angry child to her room to "calm down." After all, what else can we do? We certainly can't reason with her when she's furious. It's no time to teach lessons or ask for an apology. She needs to calm down. But it's worth considering whether that's the best option in dealing with anger. Imagine being angry at your partner. What if they said "Go calm down; come back when you can talk about this politely." Would you feel heard? Would you start to calm down? Or might you explode?
What can we do instead? We can help our children learn to manage their anger responsibly.
Start Here:
10 Tips To Help Your Child With Anger
All kids need parental help to learn how to manage their anger. Here are ten tips for teaching your child healthy anger management in everyday life.
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When Your Child Gets Angry: The Crash Course
When our kids get angry, it pushes buttons for most of us. It's no time to teach lessons or ask for an apology. Here's how to stay calm and help your child.
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When Your Child Gets Angry: The Cheat Sheet
Post this on your refrigerator until it comes naturally!
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When Your Child Hits You: A Script
Here's your script to regain your calm and head off future hitting.
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When Your Toddler Hits You: A Script
When toddlers hit, they need us to set firm limits to stop them -- while we help them feel safe and understood.
Read MoreFolks, she's brilliant. It's wonderful to have parenting experts who don't see the child as the enemy in a locked combat, for one thing. I recommend it.
"Your emails are life savers! So well thought-out and written!" - Helene Brazier-Mitouart
"I'd really recommend Laura Markham's Aha! parenting books and website for brilliantly practical ways to parent with kindness instead of punishment." - Makchoon
Makchoon
I have seen amazing improvement in my *very* angry 17 year-old son after acknowledging that there was a reason he was so angry and acting out. We have had several heartfelt conversations and I have seen a real change in how he treats his younger brother, and how he treats me.
I know that I am a better parent thanks to Dr. Laura's inspirational words and suggestions.
My daughter reacts so much better when I empathize and stay patient. And now I get to model that behavior instead of letting my frustration get the better of me.
"Another brilliant article, pulling compelling information together in a readable way. Thank you so much for the work you do. You help me as a parent of teenagers, and I pass your articles on to clients." - Nancy Eisenberg
Thank you so much for this great advice! You give me ideas for how I can "do it better" and that lifts me up with hope and positivity too!
"I just want to say that the advice about dealing with toddlers on this website is excellent. It is amazing how much my attitude changes my son's behavior. If I make an effort to empathize with him, he is so much more cooperative. It does take an effort -- after all, I have a lot to do and I don't always want to take the time. But I find it is worth it to avoid the tantrums and fussing. He is much better behaved now, and other people even comment on it."
Jennifer
Today I say thank you, tears streaming from my face, so proud of my little boy and all he will become. Thank you. - Jennifer B.
Jennifer B
Your philosophies are the only tools we've come across which offer practical advice grounded in clearly laid out lay terminology. Our family life day-to-day is nothing short of a miracle, thanks to you! - Dana Questad
Dana Questad
