Parental Anger
When we're angry, it's because we think we need to protect ourselves from some threat.
We forget that a misbehaving child is not a threat, just a confused or upset young human with an immature brain. We forget that we're escalating the drama by acting in a threatening way ourselves. We forget that our responsibility as a parent is to act like a grown-up, calmly coaching our child so they can learn, grow, and develop the ability to regulate their own emotions and behavior.
When your child's behavior sends you into your own temper tantrum, you'll be sure that your child is the problem. But any time you "lose it" that's a sign that you're triggered.
Start Here:
When You Get Angry At Your Child
How to Handle Your Anger at Your Child. In our calm moments we know that we could handle any parenting moment much better from a state of calm. Here's how.
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Honesty, Anger and Parenting
Don't you have to tell kids you're disappointed, sad or angry about their behavior to get them to act right?
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Angry? Don't lose it. Use it!
Yes, you CAN be that calm parent. It starts with using your anger as a learning opportunity.
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7 Tips to Stay Cool When Your Child Acts Up
Staying cool when your child is acting up is essential to solving the problem. Here are some lessons from Yoda on resisting sliding into the dark side.
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When Your Child Makes You Want To Scream: 10 Steps to Calm, Connect & Teach
When your kids get wild and your buttons get pushed, here's your path to less drama, more love.
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Can You Love Unconditionally When You're Furious?
Loving unconditionally when you're angry isn't easy. But nothing changes your child's behavior quite as quickly.
Read MoreFolks, she's brilliant. It's wonderful to have parenting experts who don't see the child as the enemy in a locked combat, for one thing. I recommend it.
"Your emails are life savers! So well thought-out and written!" - Helene Brazier-Mitouart
"I'd really recommend Laura Markham's Aha! parenting books and website for brilliantly practical ways to parent with kindness instead of punishment." - Makchoon
Makchoon
I have seen amazing improvement in my *very* angry 17 year-old son after acknowledging that there was a reason he was so angry and acting out. We have had several heartfelt conversations and I have seen a real change in how he treats his younger brother, and how he treats me.
I know that I am a better parent thanks to Dr. Laura's inspirational words and suggestions.
My daughter reacts so much better when I empathize and stay patient. And now I get to model that behavior instead of letting my frustration get the better of me.
"Another brilliant article, pulling compelling information together in a readable way. Thank you so much for the work you do. You help me as a parent of teenagers, and I pass your articles on to clients." - Nancy Eisenberg
Thank you so much for this great advice! You give me ideas for how I can "do it better" and that lifts me up with hope and positivity too!
"I just want to say that the advice about dealing with toddlers on this website is excellent. It is amazing how much my attitude changes my son's behavior. If I make an effort to empathize with him, he is so much more cooperative. It does take an effort -- after all, I have a lot to do and I don't always want to take the time. But I find it is worth it to avoid the tantrums and fussing. He is much better behaved now, and other people even comment on it."
Jennifer
Today I say thank you, tears streaming from my face, so proud of my little boy and all he will become. Thank you. - Jennifer B.
Jennifer B
Your philosophies are the only tools we've come across which offer practical advice grounded in clearly laid out lay terminology. Our family life day-to-day is nothing short of a miracle, thanks to you! - Dana Questad
Dana Questad
