Parental Conflict
The nature of human relationships is that we will sometimes disagree. It's wonderful for children to see their parents model how to work out disagreements. It's important for them to know that we don't always agree, but we always love each other. Kids need to see us ask for what we need without attacking the other person. And it's critical for them to see us make up, with affection and forgiveness. But that doesn't mean that it's okay to yell at each other in front of our kids. The research shows that when parents disagree respectfully and then work things through to a solution and affectionately make up, kids learn valuable lessons about working through conflicts constructively. But the research also shows that yelling always affects kids badly. Yelling is not constructive conflict resolution. It's a tantrum. So how can you handle the inevitable disagreements that come up in a relationship -- when you live with kids and want to be a good role model?
Start Here:
Fighting Fair When you Live With Kids: Healthy Conflict Resolution
How parents can model how to work out disagreements.
Read More
How To Do Damage Control When You Fight In Front of Your Kids
Conflict is part of every human relationship. So what exactly is a healthy fight?
Read More
How To Make a Fight With Your Partner Into a Positive Learning Experience for Your Child
If you can disagree with respect and affection, and work toward a win/win decision, that's great modeling for your child.
Read MoreFolks, she's brilliant. It's wonderful to have parenting experts who don't see the child as the enemy in a locked combat, for one thing. I recommend it.
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"I'd really recommend Laura Markham's Aha! parenting books and website for brilliantly practical ways to parent with kindness instead of punishment." - Makchoon
Makchoon
I have seen amazing improvement in my *very* angry 17 year-old son after acknowledging that there was a reason he was so angry and acting out. We have had several heartfelt conversations and I have seen a real change in how he treats his younger brother, and how he treats me.
I know that I am a better parent thanks to Dr. Laura's inspirational words and suggestions.
My daughter reacts so much better when I empathize and stay patient. And now I get to model that behavior instead of letting my frustration get the better of me.
"Another brilliant article, pulling compelling information together in a readable way. Thank you so much for the work you do. You help me as a parent of teenagers, and I pass your articles on to clients." - Nancy Eisenberg
Thank you so much for this great advice! You give me ideas for how I can "do it better" and that lifts me up with hope and positivity too!
"I just want to say that the advice about dealing with toddlers on this website is excellent. It is amazing how much my attitude changes my son's behavior. If I make an effort to empathize with him, he is so much more cooperative. It does take an effort -- after all, I have a lot to do and I don't always want to take the time. But I find it is worth it to avoid the tantrums and fussing. He is much better behaved now, and other people even comment on it."
Jennifer
Today I say thank you, tears streaming from my face, so proud of my little boy and all he will become. Thank you. - Jennifer B.
Jennifer B
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Dana Questad
